Ladies and gentlemen and childish minds of all ages, step right up and plunk down your money then go right into that tent and see the sensational wonder packing them in from one end of these continental United States to the other, having just returned from a triumphant trip abroad where he performed his stupefying act to sell out crowds and heads of state alike, and not as some might tell you because he was giving away free food and a free rock concert, no don't believe a word of it, because this is an act hailed by the ladies and gentlemen of the press -- except by Der Speigel the German magazine who called him a total fake, but what do they know -- as one of the greatest attractions ever seen,playing to standing room only crowds, the one, the only, the amazing, Barack the Clown.
He flips, he flops he talks out of both sides of his mouth so fast your ears won't believe a word they're hearing. You'll see a quick change artist change so fast your eyes won't believe what they are seeing which is why we say its change you can believe in.
He will conduct feats of prestidigitation never before seen on this continent or abroad as the Israeli's and Palestinians themselves will testify, as will liberal groups who witnessed it to their utter amazement, and newspaper editors who watched in disbelief. You'll watch in disbelief too as Barack the Clown will use these feats of prestidigitation to make promises and pledges disappear right before your very eyes. He will reverse himself in midstream so fast you won't know if he is coming or going. Ask him a question and to your utter amazement he will tell you exactly what you want to hear and smile doing it. And you will roar with laughter at the sight of Barack the Clown putting not one, but both feet in his mouth at exactly the same time.
All this alone is worth the price of a contribution, a paltry $5, but no, that's not all. With just a wave of his hand and his patented smirk you''ll see Barack the Clown make the ladies and gentlemen of the press, famous names like Keith Olbermann, Jonathan Alter, journalists from the Nation and the New York Times, and special guest star Chris Matthews, jump through hoops, roll over, sit up and beg and eat right out of his hand even while keeping both feet in his mouth. You'll see his famous Presidential seals clap their fins and play "Feelings" on a set of cell phones provided by Verizon and AT&T, then swallow everything he throws their way.
Think I'm finished? Not by a long shot. To top it off you'll see the famous Barack the Clown Bus, you don't ride in it you get thrown under it, and you won't believe what Barack will throw under it right before your very eyes, including an entire church with a couple of pastors, the voters of Florida and Michigan, the 4th Amendment to the Constitution, and last but not least, even his own grandmother, and a whole lot more, all for your own mirth and amusement.
Ladies and gentlemen there has never been an attraction like Barack the Clown or my name isn't Howard F for Fairness Dean. Just step right up and plunk down your money to our lovely Miss Pelosi looking lovely in her Barack the Clown nose and wig, who will be glad to show you to your seat. Prime seats are still available.
Now c'mon folks, this is your big chance to see the great Barack the Clown. Who's gonna be first to step right up and get their seat? No reason to hesitate this is a once in a lifetime chance to see a true clown at work, the best clown you'll ever see. Trust me folks you've never seen a clown like Barack the Clown. So who's gonna be first?
No point in looking over yonder at that other tent, there's nothing there folks. The big attraction is right here in Barack the Clown. Don’t believe that sign-- there is no Hillary in that tent. She's a big fan of Barack the Clown and said so. The lovely Hillary is going to be right here watching with the rest of you. She might even make an appearance as a guest star. Don't pay any attention to that sign they're putting up. Did I mention Barack the Clown will saw the lovely Miss Pelosi right in half before your very eyes? Hey, come back here...forget that sign...Hillary's gone...there's no show there...this is the only show in town....hey, we're you all going? Okay, we'll throw in the free food and a rock concert...who do you want to see? Bruce Springsteen? Keith Olbermann playing the kazoo? How about the synchronized marching of the famous Obamabots Marching Band? Hey, come on back here...we'll do the free food..